IEP's and Frustration

Had an IEP meeting for our youngest. He is scheduled to be released from the residential facility next Tuesday. At the meeting, the school gave us our options. 1. Public School - either in our community or a neighboring one. 2. another day treatment program that is 50 miles away from our home. We talked it over as a team and agreed to try for the school in another district. With second option being available as a back up if the first failed. Well, the other district isn't willing to take on our son. So, our district rather than trying to accommodate him, has decided to schedule a visit to the day treatment program. They are willing to pay his travel expenses to go there. Why does nobody want our child? In the last year, we have done everything that the school has asked us to do. We placed him in a residential treatment program in part on the recommendation of the school and the psych team. We have done the med wash, we have joined a state run program that provides mentoring for him. I had to give up my work. Our son has completed his program at the residential facility. His release from there has already been pushed back once at the request of the district because they felt it would be better for him to start at the beginning of the new term. Now he is looking at being delayed again in his release because he doesn't have a school to go to. At this point, we are just about ready to home school him with an online program. The school will pay me round trip for the drive to take him to school. that is 200 miles a day. Or I can stay in the nearest city during the day, and only log 100 miles. but they won't pay for an aide in the classroom for our son. Does that make any sense? Earlier this week, we had an IEP meeting for one of our other kids. There was someone at the meeting who we had asked to have excluded from the meeting. She refused to leave. So my wife said, "we aren't having a meeting then." Why did we ask her to leave? Because in the past, that individual has been rude to the point of telling my wife to "shut up" during an IEP meeting.