I give thanks.
My family was together for the holiday. Our youngest came home from the residential facility for the weekend. He was home from Wednesday to Sunday, and I am very proud to say that no major issues occurred. It was a great weekend. There were a few times when he wanted something his way, and we were able to handle it without a meltdown. I think the only "major" issue was when he was caught playing with a screwdriver around an outlet. He has been known to strip all of the outlet covers from a room.
There was a brief moment where he was sneaking around, but I think that was a test of his boundaries. All in all it was a good weekend.
On a side note, my health has been kind of strange. I lost my appetite last Wednesday and it just never really recovered. It has been declining for a couple of weeks. I eat because I don't want to worry my family. So tomorrow will put in a call to my doctor and see what she thinks. But since I am scheduled to see her in two weeks, she may want to run labs now and then wait.
That is all for now faithful readers. Hope you all had a great weekend.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
IEP Meeting
Had an IEP meeting for our son. Why do we continue to struggle with the school district? This time, we brought the superintendents name into it. I had talked to him late last week about the hesitation that we felt from the principal at the elementary school in accepting our son into the school, as well as including staff in meetings about our son.
It just seems crazy to me that what should be common sense when working with a child, they seem to lack. If a child is in a residential facility for kids with special mental health needs, and the staff there has experience with that child, wouldn't it be beneficial to hear how those people work with the child to ensure that the child is as successful as he can be? It would seem obvious to me.
So now, we are having a staffing in two weeks for our son, a staffing is a meeting of all of the people who participate in his care, and the school has been invited to participate in that meeting so that they can hear positive things about our son. Even the staff at the residential facility thinks that would be a good idea. We will see if they do actually participate.
I find myself excited at the possibilities for our son if his teacher is the person who participated in the meeting today. She worked with two of our kids previously, and was very good in working with their strengths and weaknesses.
On another note, the plan is to bring our son into a public school in the city for an hour a day to see how he does in that setting. If he is successful, the time will gradually increase. This will be communicated to his parents and the school district so that they can see how he is fairing. A staff member from the residential facility will be touring the school that our son will go to after discharge, this will enable the staff to make recommendations about how they should do things when our son comes back.
Still not happy with the school district, seems to be unnecessary posturing on their part, but time will tell.
It just seems crazy to me that what should be common sense when working with a child, they seem to lack. If a child is in a residential facility for kids with special mental health needs, and the staff there has experience with that child, wouldn't it be beneficial to hear how those people work with the child to ensure that the child is as successful as he can be? It would seem obvious to me.
So now, we are having a staffing in two weeks for our son, a staffing is a meeting of all of the people who participate in his care, and the school has been invited to participate in that meeting so that they can hear positive things about our son. Even the staff at the residential facility thinks that would be a good idea. We will see if they do actually participate.
I find myself excited at the possibilities for our son if his teacher is the person who participated in the meeting today. She worked with two of our kids previously, and was very good in working with their strengths and weaknesses.
On another note, the plan is to bring our son into a public school in the city for an hour a day to see how he does in that setting. If he is successful, the time will gradually increase. This will be communicated to his parents and the school district so that they can see how he is fairing. A staff member from the residential facility will be touring the school that our son will go to after discharge, this will enable the staff to make recommendations about how they should do things when our son comes back.
Still not happy with the school district, seems to be unnecessary posturing on their part, but time will tell.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Appeal results
We received notice of our appeal determination today. Evidently the only people who can appeal the decision is the person found to have committed the abuse or neglect. Our appeal was denied because we weren't the ones who had been accused of the abuse of neglect.
So evidently, in the state of North Dakota, it is acceptable practice to lock a child with special needs in a room all by himself as a means of restraint or control.
For some reason, I have a huge problem with that.
1. the room was on the second floor, and by the school's own admission, our son was banging on the windows with a chair. what would have happened if the window had broke out, and he had gone through the window?
1. the room was on the second floor, and by the school's own admission, our son was banging on the windows with a chair. what would have happened if the window had broke out, and he had gone through the window?
2. in the room there was a desk, in that desk our son found two pairs of scissors, and by the school's own admission, he threatened to use them. Granted the principal later qualified her statement and said that our son just wanted to cut some paper. But still, he had access to what could have been a dangerous weapon.
3. If our son had developed a medical emergency of some kind while locked in that room, would they have been able to get the room unlocked fast enough to save him?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Appeals and Support decisions.
Was sad to take our son back to the residential facility. Had a great weekend.
Filed the appeal for the abuse and neglect complaint. I commented that in my opinion academic records were tampered with. The IEP created last January was based in part on the psychiatric report from his doctor. I said that I would sign whatever releases were necessary to facilitate the request of records relating to when records or information was sent to the school as well as the nature of the records sent to the school.
For a remedy, I said we wanted up to and including the termination of the principal and superintendent as well as the loss of license, and an apology. I don't want them to be able to harm any other children.
On another note I heard from the PATH organization and learned that our son qualifies for family support. So working on releases and matching a family to him so that we can get some respite care that way.
Filed the appeal for the abuse and neglect complaint. I commented that in my opinion academic records were tampered with. The IEP created last January was based in part on the psychiatric report from his doctor. I said that I would sign whatever releases were necessary to facilitate the request of records relating to when records or information was sent to the school as well as the nature of the records sent to the school.
For a remedy, I said we wanted up to and including the termination of the principal and superintendent as well as the loss of license, and an apology. I don't want them to be able to harm any other children.
On another note I heard from the PATH organization and learned that our son qualifies for family support. So working on releases and matching a family to him so that we can get some respite care that way.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
thoughts
Why is the principal able to control our son's release date? Because she thinks that his report card won't look good if he transfers back to the district with so few days left in the semester, our son is spending an extra 30 days in the residential facility. I understand why the residential facility is doing what they are doing, they are structuring things so that one of their staff can spend time with our son in the school that he will be transferring back into.
The appeal for the abuse and neglect complaint decision will be sent in on Monday. We had to list what we wanted for remedy. We want an apology from the district, we want the principal to lose her license and job. We want the superintendent to retire. We can prove that the district received documentation from the various doctors associated with our sons care. One of the reasons for the decision in the complaint was a lack of documentation from the doctors. That tells me that someone doctored our sons school records. That, I believe, is a felony. Two people are ultimately accountable for that action. The principal and the superintendent. If someone else did that, it is because they were directed to do so by their superiors.
The appeal for the abuse and neglect complaint decision will be sent in on Monday. We had to list what we wanted for remedy. We want an apology from the district, we want the principal to lose her license and job. We want the superintendent to retire. We can prove that the district received documentation from the various doctors associated with our sons care. One of the reasons for the decision in the complaint was a lack of documentation from the doctors. That tells me that someone doctored our sons school records. That, I believe, is a felony. Two people are ultimately accountable for that action. The principal and the superintendent. If someone else did that, it is because they were directed to do so by their superiors.
Friday, November 11, 2011
A fantastic day
our son has been home for a home visit for 24 hours now. It has been great having him here. No outbursts, he is playing nicely with others, and we are overjoyed with having all of our children under the same roof.
As it stands right now, he will be discharged from the residential facility on the 13th of January. Steps are being taken by us and the staff of the agency that runs the facility to transition him into the public school and our home. We are working on lining up respite care, and after care.
His psychiatrist is going to treat him again.
Through the Christmas break, he will be home periodically, he can't be home for the whole two weeks because of insurance issues. So we can have him for a couple three days at a time.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
a Staff meeting for our son.
had a meeting about our youngest child's return to public school. As soon as we started talking about it, the principal piped up and said "public school may not be the best place for him". the principal was pissed off that my wife and I refused to let a consultant for the school district sit in on the conference call.
Plus, we asked for the special education teacher that our son will be working with to be a participant in the next meeting. We were told that the principal couldn't guarantee that. The principal said that she would see. We set up our meetings a month in advance, how hard would it be to schedule a conference call for a specific teacher? Turns out that the principal might not be able to make that meeting because she has been elected the President of the Chamber of Commerce in our town and has another obligation.
Then the principal complained because the teacher at the residential facility has given reports that were read by another individual, because she had to be absent for medical reasons during the last meeting. So we set up a time for a conference call with the teacher from the facility and the school. Oh, and the special education teacher might not be able to participate in that meeting either.
Our son has the following diagnosis: Severe ADHD, facets of Autism, facets of fetal alcohol Syndrome, Reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant, obsessive compulsive and pediatric bipolar.
It seems to my wife and I that they want to set him up for failure.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
1 year --- a look back
It has been a year since I started this blog and its corresponding facebook group. So much has happened.
Little did I know that M's initial attack on his teacher would develop into 2 further attacks, 3 hospitalizations, probation, and a placement in a residential facility. As a result we are exploring our legal options against the school district. We are still holding M accountable for his actions, but feel that the school district should be held accountable for theirs as well.
The past year has seen major health challenges for me, as well as a redefinition of what it is to be a man, at least for me. I am still struggling to come to terms with the things I have lost, and am learning to further embrace the things I hold dear to my heart.
Friends close to our hearts have been uprooted due to flooding in their communities, and we thank our blessings that we are not affected in the same manner.
As I close this, I find myself excited about the challenges that lay ahead and reminiscent of the past. I thank the people in the facebook group for their support of both me and each other. I find it amazing that we can bring together people of diverse backgrounds to discuss a common issue. I have heard from people across the United States about the impact of my blog, and even from someone in Singapore.
Thank you friends.
Little did I know that M's initial attack on his teacher would develop into 2 further attacks, 3 hospitalizations, probation, and a placement in a residential facility. As a result we are exploring our legal options against the school district. We are still holding M accountable for his actions, but feel that the school district should be held accountable for theirs as well.
The past year has seen major health challenges for me, as well as a redefinition of what it is to be a man, at least for me. I am still struggling to come to terms with the things I have lost, and am learning to further embrace the things I hold dear to my heart.
Friends close to our hearts have been uprooted due to flooding in their communities, and we thank our blessings that we are not affected in the same manner.
As I close this, I find myself excited about the challenges that lay ahead and reminiscent of the past. I thank the people in the facebook group for their support of both me and each other. I find it amazing that we can bring together people of diverse backgrounds to discuss a common issue. I have heard from people across the United States about the impact of my blog, and even from someone in Singapore.
Thank you friends.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
A Home Visit
M is coming home for a four day visit next week. We are so excited. We will have staffing at the residential facility where he lives, and then participate in family therapy. After that, we will be bringing him home with us. Then Sunday, we have to take him back. We will be planning to bring him home for Thanksgiving weekend.
On Tuesday next week, I will be meeting with my cardiologist. Not sure what to expect there. Would be nice to know what is causing these heart events. Maybe he will be able to shed some light on it for me.
On Tuesday next week, I will be meeting with my cardiologist. Not sure what to expect there. Would be nice to know what is causing these heart events. Maybe he will be able to shed some light on it for me.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The joys of....
Got to see our son yesterday for a bit. For those of you that don't know, he is in a residential facility in the city about an hour and a half from our home. We played Pictionary using random words that we drew out of a bag. It was so much fun.
I had to explain to him why I was using a walker instead of my canes. He was concerned about me. When it came time for us to leave, he held my walker steady so it wouldn't move and tried to help me get up out of the couch. I have bad knees, so this is a challenge.
I do so hope that he can come home with the level of success that he has attained in there. He will hopefully be home by Christmas. We have two home visits on the radar between now and then so we will see. I am a realist, I know that he can't be perfect, and quite frankly I don't expect that. If he could be even half as good as he is now, that would be a huge improvement over last school year.
I asked him if he was willing to try going back to school in our home town, where we had so many issues with the school, and he said yes. I promise that I won't let them mess him up like they did last year. He doesn't deserve that.
I had to explain to him why I was using a walker instead of my canes. He was concerned about me. When it came time for us to leave, he held my walker steady so it wouldn't move and tried to help me get up out of the couch. I have bad knees, so this is a challenge.
I do so hope that he can come home with the level of success that he has attained in there. He will hopefully be home by Christmas. We have two home visits on the radar between now and then so we will see. I am a realist, I know that he can't be perfect, and quite frankly I don't expect that. If he could be even half as good as he is now, that would be a huge improvement over last school year.
I asked him if he was willing to try going back to school in our home town, where we had so many issues with the school, and he said yes. I promise that I won't let them mess him up like they did last year. He doesn't deserve that.
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